CONSCIOUS PERFECTION

Barbie is celebrating her 50th birthday, and consciously or unconsciously, women still consider her “charms” a standard. Long blonde hair, skinny body, perky globes, etc.
Although imitation is a never-ending stimulus package for the economy of "beautification" services, what are the rewards of this billion dollar investment?

Sadly, the physical ideals of sexual attractiveness; the formula for “optimal luring capacity” has not been abandoned despite lack of attainability, objectification, or proof of a better life.

In exchange for being noticed, and the expected reward of endless enduring love, women withstand starvation, Spankx, plastic surgery, Botox, breast enhancement, and hours of spinal contortion from high heels. If these tactics guaranteed unconditional love, I might be interested, but I am a pragmatic girl, and would not jeopardize my health or comfort for mere attention. However, it is a well known fact that you can attract more bees with honey - the sweet nectar of contentment – because discontent is not attractive, inviting or beautiful.

Consider the great beauties of the world: Elizabeth Taylor, Tina Turner, Marilyn Monroe, Halle Berry. Then ponder all the stars that have turned themselves in to puff-lipped alien lizards, attempting to preserve the beauty of youth: Priscilla Presley, Dolly Parton, Cher.
They all may have fame and fortune, but what about their personal lives? Is finding true love any easier for them? Does god-given beauty or surgically-preserved youth really deliver?

How would your life change if you had the body you wanted, would physical perfection secure happiness? What actually stands in the way of a satisfying life? I always tell nervous brides, “yes, everyone will be looking at you…
for a second…but they will quickly return to themselves and their own appearance. Trust me; paparazzi are not lurking outside your house. Whether or not you can pull off a bikini or a sleeveless shirt is irrelevant in the real world. (Hollywood is a different story – not yours!) A few varicose veins should not keep you from wearing a skirt, because no one will probably even notice or care. Losing five, ten, or twenty pounds before a class reunion may give you confidence, but a warm smile and open heart is what people will remember. In the throes of great sex are you really thinking about your abs? And, after the initial shock of your cellulite on the beach, will anyone think less of you; after all, it’s not a felony, is it? Instead of judging yourself and competing with others, try looking people directly in the eye; show them you are present and available. It’s intoxicating to be seen and heard …

A health insurance chart would label me overweight. I’ve been pleasantly plump my whole life, but I have never, and would never, have a relationship with a man who criticized my figure. Actually, the men I attract are quite enthusiastic about my zaftig charms. I dated a body builder several years ago, who was 14 years younger than me. He told me he respected women who pumped iron at the gym, but he preferred women with soft curves and thick legs, and the emotional stability of older women. Trust me; men are turned on by women who like themselves. A guest on Oprah claimed that you should be able to stand in front of a mirror naked, and be turned on by yourself. I fervently agree.

Furthermore, consider the practicality of aging. When we are at our most fertile, we are most appealing to the opposite sex. This is the biological path we take. We grow older and things change for a reason. We are not designed to chase boys and make babies in our later years. It’s a gift to push us into thinking about other things, like, why we’re here, what we’ve learned, and how we’re going to serve the world, insuring our lives were meaningful.

“In life our task is to go from unconscious perfection to conscious imperfection and then to conscious perfection” -unknown proverb

Please bask in your own individual beauty. Be aware of sleepwalking, unconsciously playing the same destructive tapes over and over. Seek new thoughts about yourself. Wake up and experience your fingers and toes and everything in between. Embrace the conscious truth, and love who you are.