The ECCENTRIC NERD WOMAN

A new female archetype, The Eccentric Nerd Woman can be found married or raising children, but are usually independent, devoted to furthering personal development. Eccentric describes an unconventional nature sculpted by insatiable interest, and nerd refers to being more passionate toward knowledge than popularity. The social majority, critical of individuality, blesses followers of the status quo and unjustly diminishes the appeal of nerds. In nerd relationships, prerequisites include smarts and a distinctive character rather than age, creed, or appearance, which is why nerds often have a diverse collection of like-minded friends.

Eccentric Nerd Women manifest personal style that's impossible to categorize. Creating identity from the inside out makes them beautiful. These curious adventuresses are young at heart, playful, but not play things. Their great compassion extends from intelligence. A respectful manner in dealing with people, animals, and valued things, exemplifies their regard. This sensitive, idealistic nature will not be found among the rough and tumble, an Eccentric Nerd Woman’s scene is more meditative. A career would have to challenge mind, body or spirit. Naturally committed to purpose and outcome, these are the women you want on any team.

Eccentric Nerd mares are hard to catch. When randy, biologically programmed stallions pursue fertile mares they take the one they can lasso, not always the finest. Unfortunate foal cannot discern quality while being so impatient. However, it may be just as well that they pass up something too wild to ride; this mare needs a bull.

Because Eccentric Nerd Women do not subscribe to conventional roles they require renaissance men. Certain types of women are interchangeable but these ladies are notable. Eccentric Nerd Women adore creativity, education, and free will because they feed perpetual contentment. She will be a friend, confidant, and an equal - easy to love but impossible to control, but never a desperate housewife.

Eccentric Nerd Women don’t compete for male attention, utilizing that energy for personal evolution. It appears as though a relationship isn’t needed to complete their lives, but this is a misconception of EN Women. They don’t settle because, they don't need to. This lady horse must be powered by her own muscle since dependence or control would cripple her spirit. Finding a relationship of virtue is important, but these convictions don’t make her search any easier.

Roots of this Eccentric Nerd flower may stem from the often misunderstood Greek hetaera or the Japanese geisha. Judged against social laws of their time, these women were tarnished for having sexual relationships outside marriage. In his book “Lying with the Heavenly Woman” Robert A. Johnson explains, “…this particular kind of woman – is a companion, and intellectual partner, a carrier of grace and beauty, a source of inspiration. All women have the hetaera capacity in their natures, and in some it is so strong as to dominate their personality structure. It is no less powerful for us in our own modern times, but we have virtually no terminology for it…” Until now!

Katherine Hepburn, Amelia Erhart, Diane Keaton, Eleanor Roosevelt, Oprah, Bonnie Raitt, Angelica Houston, Julia Child, and Cherrie Hanson are my short list of modern Eccentric Nerd Women. Shall I add your name to the list?

THE LIST:
Georgia Berndsen
Colleen DuVall
Shelly Stark
Katrina Cravy

A MUSLIM MERRY CHRISTMAS

When asked whether it was acceptable to wish “Merry Christmas” to Christian friends or business associates, Indian Islamic preacher, Dr. Zakir Naik, declared, “Saying ‘Merry Christmas’ to a non-Muslim submits that Christ was the son of God and makes us one of them. It is one hundred percent wrong.” Dr. Zakir, a doctor of medicine, knows that the human body is a universally designed machine, created by one architect, and regardless of who/what that was, we are physically the same flesh and blood in need air, water, food, sunlight, love, etc. It is our thoughts that separate us from each other. However, acknowledging another person’s thoughts does not deny our own. If life experience shapes beliefs, how could we expect them to be the same? Wishing "Merry Christmas" to a non-Muslim is not about self interest, it’s about recognizing someone else’s customs.

Christmas is a time to remember charity, family, friends, and blessings. We give gifts and spend quality time with loved ones. Muslims celebrate Eid in similar fashion. http://islam.about.com/od/ramadan/f/eid_fitr.htm

Eid follows Ramadan in the Islamic calendar. It is a time to give in charity to those in need, and celebrate with family and friends the completion of a month of blessings and joy.
Before the day of Eid, during the last few days of Ramadan, each Muslim family gives a determined amount as a donation to the poor. This donation is of actual food -- rice, barley, dates, rice, etc. -- to ensure that the needy can have a holiday meal and participate in the celebration. On the day of Eid, Muslims gather early in the morning in outdoor locations or mosques to perform the Eid prayer. This consists of a sermon followed by a short congregational prayer.
After the Eid prayer, Muslims usually scatter to visit various family and friends, give gifts (especially to children), and make phone calls to distant relatives to give well-wishes for the holiday. These activities traditionally continue for three days. In most Muslim countries, the entire 3-day period is an official government/school holiday.

This year I greeted my Muslim friends, Ziad and Kamel, with “Happy Eid!” And, though it’s only customary to give children Eid gifts, I gave them presents anyway. I mixed essentials oils to create individual cologne fragrances. They were moved by my thoughtfulness and consideration. Ziad remembered the excitement of Eid gifts as a child and how much he cherished them. Kamel could not stop smelling his hand.

A few weeks later I was preparing for Christmas. My friends and family agreed, no presents this year, instead giving the precious gift of quality time. But, on Christmas Day I discovered a package wrapped in a colorful gift bag. Inside was an ipod from Ziad, he remembered that I wanted one, and from Kamel, a traditional Palestinian headdress (scarf) called hattah. In Jordan, where Kamel is from, they wear the red and white hattah, known as shmagh mhadab.

It was a Muslim "Merry Christmas" from my two very dear friends!

Eid Mubarak! (Blessed Eid!)
Merry Christmas!

Kul 'am wa enta bi-khair! (May every year find you in good health!)
And a Happy New Year!

BE-A-READER!

POWER VS. FORCE

David R. Hawkins book contains a bounty of insight to human behavior. Its a Jedi training program. As you take in the information, strength builds, knowledge adds mental muscle, and you grasp power in its best form. When we raise our individual vibration we benefit the energy around us. And when we lower our vibration, we destroy the energy around us, usually through force.

If you want to know power and are frustrated by the results of force, read this book.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

My annual viewing of the play, A CHRISTMAS CAROL, continues its tradition of perspective and holiday tone. The distinguished message this year comes from Jacob Marley, Scrooge's deceased business partner:

"But you were always a man of business, Jacob."

"Business! Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!"

A favorite quote of mine, "I like people...but I hate them too!" rings true occasionally. But at Christmastime the best of mankind is on display, magical things always seem to happen and the loving part of our nature comes out of hiding. Maybe that's why they say keep Christmas in your heart all year long.

Merry Christmas with love, from my home to your home!
Cherrie

THIS CHRISTMAS

My Christmas will be very different this year because there’s little money to host Christmas dinner, buy presents, or a tree. I don’t feel sad because financial issues can’t compete with the prospect of new meaning. The cost of making Christmas special always causes pressure, but this year the financial scenario is so serious for most that things just won’t be the same. When you can’t use money to make yourself or others happy, what’s free becomes very clear.

Love. Let someone other than your family or spouse know that you love them. Say it out loud. Humor. Find someone who’s stressed and turn their mood around with laughter. Kindness. Be generous in a unpredictable way. Listen. Be a quiet canvas for someone to paint their thoughts on. Compassion. Take unwanted books or clothes to Goodwill for someone else to treasure. Friendship. Include someone who doesn’t have a family to share your holiday. These things are available anytime to give and receive. I can always use more of them, and certainly must remember to give more as well. If you’re worried about whether or not your Christmas will measure up to years past, envision a new way to experience comfort and joy.

SURRENDER DOROTHY!

The Wizard of Oz won’t leave me alone. The story line, its characters, and themes have been showing up uninvited for quite some time. It’s weird since I’ve never been a huge fan. The most recent “Wizard” intervention came when I was channel surfing. Smoke letters were shooting out of the witch’s broomstick above the Emerald City spelling out a message. The trembling Tin Man was pointing toward the sky calling out the letters, “Sur-ren-der Dorothy!” A woman in the crowd yelled, “Who’s Dorothy?”

At this point in my life “surrender” means letting go of expectations and attachments, having faith in the outcome. In that framework, the meaning of this old familiar story changed dramatically. I’m starting to realize that every time the “Wizard” appears I learn something.

One Christmas many years ago I found myself alone, separated from my biological family because of disputes and disagreements. I wasn’t sad to be apart from them, just petrified to possibly spend the holiday alone. Because tradition and religious beliefs are installed by parents, searching for our own truths may require breaking away from the family at some point, mentally or physically. Remember the story of the prodigal son? The yellow brick road was my metaphoric spiritual path, and the road to find my true self was a great adventure.

I have a wonderful Godmother named Marlene that I call “Auntie”. She has seven kids but a heart big enough to add another. It occurred to me that she was my Auntie M. I was relieved to be included in her large family celebration but I still felt like an orphan because as they say, “there’s no place like home.” For now, home was an open road.

That Christmas was a sunny bitter cold day with temperatures dangerous enough to freeze your nostrils together. I didn’t dress properly. I never imagined I’d have to leave the warm car…

Before leaving town I stopped at the children’s bookstore I live above, aptly named Rainbowbooks. Joseph, the owner, pulled a hot new seller from the bookshelf to share with me. It was The Wizard of Oz pop-up book by genius Robert Sabuda. This fortune teller gave me fatherly advice, a holiday cookie for the trip, and sent me on my way.

After two hours I was passing my father’s hometown of Westfield. When I was a kid my family would stop at The Pioneer Inn for home cooking and a fresh slice of pie. It was always our halfway marker. I noticed a car on the side of the road with a flat tire. I felt sorry for the misfortune and plans thwarted. Seconds later my car started making a terrible noise. Whatever flattened the other tire just dug into mine. I’d never had a flat tire before. As I stepped out to check the damage the icy wind choked me and went right through my clothes. I jumped back into the car and called Auntie M. A drunken cousin picked up the phone and started laughing. No one offered to come help me because Santa was about to arrive. AAA’s line was busy. Back then, my antiquated cell phone was powered by my car, so if I ran out of gas before I got through, I would die in the cold. The only way to survive was to walk back to Westfield. I called Auntie’s house one more time and told my Godfather to keep calling AAA. He couldn’t hear me over the gift-ripping mayhem.

The valley between the highways was extremely wide and full of snow. The air was too cold to inhale. The wicked wind slashed like razor blades across my face and the sunlight blinded me. Chills pierced so deep my bladder started cramping. Walking made it worse. I didn’t think I could hold it much longer. I started to cry, turning back to the car. Just then a vehicle whizzed past so fast I wasn’t sure I saw it, but it kicked up a frosty dust cloud. Another car was coming out of the powder, skidding towards me. A man emerged, calling out to me as he approached. He was bow-legged and skinny with a large nose, weak chin, wearing an odd shaped hat with a chin strap. It was the highway Trooper. The first thing I said was, “did anyone ever tell you that you look like Ray Boldgers?” He replied sprightly, “All the time Ma’am, so what seems to be the trouble here?”

He drove me to the rest stop and called AAA. We waited for over an hour while he did all the talking. Before he spotted me, he was on a high speed chase hitting 110 miles per hour but couldn’t catch the speeder. That’s why I barely saw the car. He pulled over when he saw me reeling in the dust. I was happy to be safe and warm. His job was lonely and he enjoyed having someone to talk to.

The AAA driver came eventually and swiftly hooked my car on his tow truck. He was barrel-chested with thick strong legs wearing a cap slightly cocked to the side. He tossed me up into the cab and drove me back to Westfield. It was four miles away. I noticed a Mc Donald’s next to the Pioneer Inn. We passed a movie theater my father went to as a child. It was dilapidated and falling into the river. The Tin man took me to his garage to tinker with my tire and get me back on the road. The shop was oily. I read slimy magazines while waiting to be salvaged. Since we were alone he told me I could come into the garage and hang out with him while he worked. I thanked him for being available on a holiday. He was a single man without family and a business owner licensed by AAA to help stranded motorists in the area. He didn’t mind working on a holiday. I started to embrace my strange Christmas adventure. Being side-tracked was ok; I had surrendered to the plan. Only 45 minutes of road left to reach my destination.

Everyone at Auntie M’s was happy to see me. I wanted to scold them for not saving me, but they gathered around expecting to hear a story. I couldn’t believe they weren’t frantic or worried, but I did have a tale to tell. A strange man in the back of the room caught my eye. His hair was so long it blended into a full beard that grew from the top of his cheeks down into his chest hair. Auntie told me he was invited for Christmas because he was on his own this holiday. He was nervous around Auntie’s large rambunctious group and relieved to find another stray cat. He followed me everywhere I went, so I sat at the piano and he bravely joined in, singing Christmas songs for the family. It was lovely.

A few days later I took the road back home. My mind was calm and content because I knew the place called “home” was in my heart forever.

The End

…but I doubt it…

THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS

If you want create neural pathways, make time go slower, and ward off boredom, change your routine! A man I knew once said he didn’t think he was interesting. Being interesting usually starts with being interested…in something NEW! There’s so much to discover every day it seems a shame to repeat, and repeat.

Now that I have made my campaign, I want to promote “The Magnificent Ambersons”
for this year’s Christmas movie. Before you dust off copies of “It’s a Wonderful Life” and
“A Christmas Carol” consider a rare treat, “The Magnificent Ambersons.” I can’t believe this film isn’t more popular; after all, Orson Welles directed it. Agnes Moorehead stars as Aunt Fanny; my generation would recognize her from “Bewitched.” Starring roles are played by other legends like Joseph Cotton, Anne Baxter, Dolores Costello, and Ray Collins.

A Christmas movie tends to center around a lesson that can stir a self reflective mood. The Ambersons had their fateful dramas like any other family. This story exposes each character’s angst and the consequences of their paths. Similar to Scrooge, little Georgie Amberson gets his comeuppance and the chance to change course before it‘s too late.
Orson Welles voice-over narration is a soothing shoulder to comfort you along the way.

Directed, Produced, and Scripted by Orson Welles
RKO Studios 1942

WHO AM I ?

After I graduate from college, I must build my business to create income.
I must pass a state board exam, and renew my license every two years.
After I am certified to practice, the work I do will be continual on the job training.
I remove parts of the human body with sharp tools.
Sometimes I need to be available for emergencies.
In the unfortunate case of accidents or mistakes, I pay for protective insurance.
I work by appointment. My business relies on filling the schedule.
I may need to hire a receptionist or an assistant.
I do not receive job benefits such as vacation or sick pay, health insurance, dental or eye benefits, or a pension.
After graduating, I will need to further my education and stay current. I am responsible for the costs of further education.
My workspace must be carefully prepared before I do my work, and properly sanitized after.
I pay rent for the space I use to work.
I have to make important decisions quickly and accurately.
My work place has many hazardous chemicals. Sometimes I must wear protection.
I can specialize within my field.
My work is physically and mentally demanding.
I retain business by having adept technical and social skills.

SO, WHO AM I?

Did you guess Doctor?....

I AM A HAIRSTYLIST!!

Here are the wage estimates for both professions in the state of Wisconsin:

Internists, General Doctors
Average Yearly Income - $192,180
Mean Hourly Wage - $92.39

Hairstylist
Average Yearly Income - $25,260
Mean Hourly Wage - $12.15

Next time you visit your hairstylist, please consider the value of what you receive.

CHECK THE MAP

“Your journey through life has given you a lot of trouble lately. Now, you are wondering why you ever bothered to set out down a road. You need to stop and check-the-map.”
-Astrologer Jonathan Cainer

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” How often do we examine the course we’re on? What makes us truly happy, and what is the plan to get there? Are you going along with what’s on offer, or compromising to please the people you care about? What do you want?!? Do you know? Are you happy? That’s how you know.

Happiness is the feeling of wholeness. When your soul smiles and knows peace even for a second, and you realize, everything is all right. Wholeness is the center of a wheel held in place while the wheel goes round and round. Life moves forward or back, whichever you chose. What is constant is the joy you can feel anytime, it’s always there. The spokes are our thoughts, our minds with many arms reaching out to the world. These follow the wheel to many places, some muddy, some smooth, but always somewhere.

If we focus our minds inward to that happy content center, then no matter what road we travel, happiness will always be there.

GOOD HAIR

BEAUTICIAN, NOT MAGICIAN

Chris Rock’s new film “Good Hair” outraged some African-American women who wanted their “hair business” kept private. His intention was to share the incredible amount of time and money needed to attain “good hair.” But he hit a nerve, exposing what women would like to keep secret. Admittedly, the process is not attractive; wet hair, globs of chemicals, head full of rollers etc. The idea that naturally beauty is better than beauty created in the salon taunts some women. If you’re spending hours there it must mean you need a lot of work, therefore not “ready-made.” I disagree; created beauty is an enhancement of the raw materials and the stuff growing out of your scalp needs to be managed. The bottom line?
No one wants to be seen until the job is done.

“Good Hair” documented the techniques behind the job, and the technician in me found it helpful and fascinating. The revealing of beauty secrets should be a constant dialog between hairstylists and clients. The antiquated model of service where clients serve up their vanities to the beautician’s magic wand is not beneficial to either party. Collaboration leaves less room for error and illusion. Clients who understand the fundamentals can properly ask for techniques available to them and are generally happier with the outcome. I educate my clients, sometimes against their will, and encourage them to participate. It’s not magic; it is chemistry, technique, and artistic capacities. Talk to your stylist, ask questions, get involved.

COLOR MY WORLD – SECRETS REVEALED

Let’s begin with hair lightening. Any time you are removing color the cuticle has to be opened by the chemical, peroxide. The effects of this process will permanently alter the surface of the cuticle, and color will fade more readily than natural color. There are four strengths of peroxide, 10, 20, 30 and 40 volume. They are chosen for specific needs such as covering grey, deepening color, adding highlights, etc. Peroxide is mixed with haircolor or bleach. The difference between them is that bleach lightens until the process is halted by washing. Haircolor lifts until the potency of the peroxide wears out, and then deposits the chosen color. When haircolor is first mixed with peroxide it has the greatest capacity to lighten and must be applied in a timely fashion. Haircolor is applied to the new growth to avoid overlap from previous applications. A really important detail for clients to understand is that haircolor will not lighten haircolor, only bleach will do that.

Less color equals less strength. Color molecules, a form of protein, make up the middle of the hair shaft. If you take it away you remove the guts, so to speak. Protein conditioners will help correct the cuticle and the loss of color, and a low ph shampoo will not further re-open the cuticle when washing. A client may relate the poor condition of her hair to the color service, not the high ph shampoo she’s using every day. Make sure the home maintenance practices are in place. No one needs to walk around with straw hair because there are many restorative products.

If a client with lightened hair wants to return to her natural color brown, the hair has to be filled with the colors, yellow, orange, red, and green to make brown. The quantity of each is determined by the practitioner, but it is not an exact science. If you’ve ever painted a room, you know that the color you pick may look horrible once it hits the wall; an excellent reason to leave hair coloring to trained professionals.

SNIPPITY DO DAH

There are three basic haircuts: Solid form, layered form, and the wedge. All haircuts are one or more of these combined. Texturizing can be done with a razor or by sliding the tip of the scissors through the hair. Both types can radically change the look of a haircut and give more or less volume depending on where the texturizing is applied. Proportion and balance determines what hair cut will look best. If a client has a short neck, large nose, weak jaw line, or thin hair, the cut should honor those details. If a client brings a picture, the concept should be tailored to fit her proportions. Clients will tell you what they like and what they want to hide.

Keep in mind, a haircut doesn’t style itself. Discontent usually rears its ugly head the next morning. Clients should not pine to reproduce their hairstyle exactly like the hairdresser does, this can cause unnecessary grief. The basics of applying styling products, blow-dryer skills, and using brushes to achieve different looks, are the most important secrets to share with them. My rule of thumb is, always apply styling products like gel and mousse at the scalp moving outward, with the exception of pomade and conditioners. It’s better to apply them to the ends and move inward. Heat from the blow-dryer should be directed toward the scalp first, stretching and pulling hair away to smooth out cowlicks. This technique fluffs the cuticle near the scalp for maximum volume. A flat brush with wide teeth is a good starter tool for moving large quantities of hair while drying. Flipping the head upside down is helpful too. Round brushes make wavy or curly ends, and are best used to finish and define hair. Apply hair spray when hair is still warm because an open cuticle holds the hairstyle longer. For curly hair, air drying or attaching a diffuser to the end of your blow-dryer will help keep the cuticle relaxed. Curly hair tends to be naturally drier than straight hair, needing crème based products or leave in conditioners for protection.ARMED, BUT NOT DANGEROUS

Less confusion, more information, and better communication is the formula for success. From this overview you might glean that hair artistry is a complicated task with many variables and possible outcomes. My wish is to eliminate the mysteries that lead to disaster and disappointment, arming clients with the necessary information to actualize...
GOOD HAIR.

CHERRIE-PICKED: Harvesting the cream of the crop in skincare, haircare, and makeup

Finding great products is not easy. Most of them contain ingredients that do not warrant the hefty price tag. You might assume that decent skincare and makeup would cost more, but that's not always true. Armed with knowledge and good judgement I bring you my own personal choices. These are tested and true, in other words...Cherrie-Picked!


It took a long time to find the perfect foundation. Make Up For Ever has many liquid makeup choices, but the Mat Velvet is their award winner. I have recommended this to friends who agree that it is something special. Hello gorgeous! Find it at Sephora.

There's alot of talk about mascara and I've tried them all. Physician's Formula can be found at Target stores and has all the great character of a good mascara. Since you should replace it every three months, it's also the most reasonably priced and better than the expensive ones.

Mac eyeshadows are non pareil! They go on smooth. The colors are beautiful and there are many to choose from. "Club" is my personal favorite - it blends brown and peacock green in one shade.

As you know I'm not a huge fan of perfume, but Philosophy's Soap and Water is light and clean, like you've only used soap and water. Great for men too.

Beauty Without Cruelty is a wonderful skin care product line. I especially like their facial toner. If your skin is normal to oily you may not want to use a moisterizer, but after washing, this product will balance the ph of your skin and keep it supple and hydrated. A great alternative to moisterizer.

Mircle soap is a miracle! The moisterizing soap removes makeup better than anything I've ever used. It deep cleans the pores and is gentle on the skin. It is a simple pure formula, no chemicals or fragrance added. A little goes a long way, making it the most cost effective skin care cleanser. The regular soap is an excellent cleaner for your home.

This is my favorite collection of Lanza hair care products for color treated hair. Lanza's Healing Color Care line is the ticket to pamper and preserve your beautiful shades. The shampoo will make your scalp and hair feel fantastic.

MATCHMAKER, MATCHMAKER

If you decide to play matchmaker, there are a few things to learn before taking on this noble, but delicate profession. I have successfully matched-up four couples, but have been the unfortunate victim of many well-intentioned, lousy matches.

Rule number one: When you propose a match, be ready and prepared to move forward, don’t raise an expectation and then let weeks or months go by. If you have an intention then follow through on it, it’s cruel to give someone hope and then sit on it. Why mention it at all?

Rule number two: Gather crucial information before they meet, and don’t dangle the carrot unless you are sure it’s worth dangling. When a couple is meeting for the first time it’s already fraught with expectations and fears, don’t make the initial meeting more difficult by glossing over facts about physical appearance, marital history, mental illness, addictions, etc. It all matters, and will come out eventually so, be honest!

Rule number three: Don’t project your stuff. If you are married or in a partnership and uncomfortable with the idea of being single, don’t act like you’re saving lives. Alone doesn’t imply loneliness. The fact that you know two people who are single isn’t enough of a reason to bring them together. Most single people enjoy their alone time, they just don’t want to make a steady diet of it. Don’t assume they are desperate and just anyone will do.

Rule number four: If at all possible, propose the idea to the man first. If a man feels pushed into it, or doesn’t have any control he will probably not like the situation. Let him decide how to proceed and follow his directions. Also, find out if he is ready to invest in a relationship or just looking for a bootie call. (You’re a matchmaker, not a pimp) If you don’t know him very well, it’s not a bad idea to do a back round check. Ask yourself, would I date this guy?

Rule number five: There might be a reason or two your friend is single, don’t make pity a reason to find them a mate. Make sure they are fit to handle the responsibility and commitment of a deeper connection. “We love him/her, can’t you?” is not a reason to dump this person into a match.

Rule number six: If you have feelings for the person you are matching but you are not available, do not fix them up with a close friend. It’s a recipe for disaster and jealousy. Make the match and get out of the way or don’t even start the ball rolling.

There are a lot of wonderful single men and women looking for a healthy relationship, but their paths just don’t cross. It is a kind and loving gesture to help them find each other. Treat them with respect when playing the role of matchmaker because, given the probability of relationship failure and divorce statistics, someday, it could be you.

PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY

On my way to a birthday party, waiting at a red light behind a motorcycle,
I was thinking about my 56 year old friend. Professionally, he is a healer, but now he is the patient, very sick with colitis. Friends and family gathered on his birthday to bring loving energy instead of gifts and libations. This wise group knew that pity and sadness would not contribute to his healing process; rather they acknowledged the celebration of life and the strength of our friend to manage his own journey. Before the light changed, I glanced up to read the back of the biker’s tee shirt, “Pain is weakness leaving the body.”
What a perfect message!

When loved ones are suffering, we want to help, or empathize, but we have to trust that the person can resolve their issue by understanding the arrival of pain in their life. The joyful energy we brought to our friend that day made his journey lighter, that’s what we can do for each other. My Bee-A-Reader recommendation is Louise L. Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life.”

I have battled chronic illnesses and recollect the frustration. I cried a lot, suppressed it with drugs, and beat it down with surgery. It wasn’t obvious while I was suffering, but my body was telling me something. Pain is the baby inside you, crying for attention.

Anger is an example of emotional pain coming out of the body. A depressed person has a low vibration, a numbness of spirit. Anger is actually a higher vibration, less numb and more awake despite that we perceive it as a negative emotion; it’s a sign that your energy is moving closer to happiness. The book, “Ask and It Is Given,” by Esther and Jerry Hicks, charts the emotional scale with depression as the lowest vibration and happiness as the highest. The authors suggest slowly replacing lower emotions with higher ones. When you are depressed, it’s impossible to suddenly replace that emotion with joy. For example, if you have reached anger after being depressed, that is progress. Then frustration is higher than anger, and above frustration is hopelessness. Being stuck in one emotional place is worse than moving to a more positive emotional state. These steps show how progress is being made. We might not recognize this unless we know how emotions work.

When we are hurt, energy instinctually becomes focused on survival. An animal that has been injured will immediately lick the area, and continue obsessing on it for comfort. Humans behave that way when physically or emotionally wounded. If there is no spiritual understanding of why pain comes into our lives, or tools to work thru its arrival, the intense focus on it can lead to addictions, neurotic behaviors, and being caught in the pattern of licking the wounds over and over.

The better option is to embrace pain, not allowing it to make you weak. The marines use this phrase to inspire endurance and strength. Pain should not be feared, but released, knowing that it is only temporary, signaling an opportunity to become stronger. Pain becomes that weakness leaving your body that you replace with a strong muscle for future challenges. Each time it shows up, you have the opportunity to become stronger. Strength lies in awareness, acceptance, and release.

If you or someone you love is physically or emotionally sick, be strong and faithful to the process, understand that pain is not bad luck, but a helpful messenger.

MISE EN SCENE: A Film Critique

Nora Ephron’s “Julie and Julia” has a unique narrative strategy. Two heroines sharing the same dilemma, “What am I going to be when I grow up?” This revelation signals the desire to live a meaningful life. Thirty year old Julie Powell and fifty year old Julia Child are feeling a tug on their souls.

It’s a rare for a female central character to have a supportive spouse and a healthy marriage, two in one film is monumental. The angst of finding a good man is missing in “Julie and Julia” instead we have two enviable relationships. How refreshing!

Both women come to the conclusion that food is the key to their personal success. Julie begins a rigorous challenge to prepare and conquer the 524 recipes in Julia Child’s revolutionary French cookbook “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” in 365 days. At a different point in history, Julia begins to study French cooking, leading to the creation of the aforementioned cookbook. Julie Powell has the challenge of working full time and producing glamorous food in her closet-sized kitchen. And Julia Child has to overcome, well…the French.

Many critics have already claimed that the double cream capacities of Meryl Streep as superb actor, and the perfect impersonation of a famous personality eclipsed the Julie side of the film. Amy Adams role was less meaty because she played the “Any-woman” who was lucky to be discovered. Her character gave women in the audience hope, but Meryl as Julia was incredible to watch. Adams might have been a better contender if she hadn’t portrayed a sanitized version of the real life Julie Powell. Perhaps it was a decision designed to hit a greater audience at the PG-13 rating.

It took awhile for me to digest this tepid film. The problem was, the pot never boiled. The crescendos leading to crisis create an attachment to the main character. After we identify with her, and what she needs, we want her to get it. When monsters, mountains, and mayhem get in the way, we become invested in the struggle. There weren’t any here. The few blips such as Julia getting into the advanced class with men, and Julie’s reporter not showing for dinner, drifted away like tumble weed.

Before you start your argument, let me remind you of the late Paul Harvey. He layered suspense, delay, and artful dodging, subtle forms of foreplay that make storytelling great. Be honest, we love tension, (not necessarily the Maury Povich kind) and a strong narrative structure demands a climax. An unreachable goal for our heroine to overcome is just more satisfying and delicious.

My recommendation is rental. Don't miss the experience of Meryl Streep as Julia Child, or the intriguing relationship with her husband played by sexy Stanley Tucci. How about a Julia Child mini-series starring Meryl Streep?

Bon Appetite!

SLEEP WALKING

What in the world is going on with women’s shoes these days? Why are fashionable shoes masochistic and comfortable ones ugly? Footwear is not exclusive to the runway or clubbing, but look into any shoe store and you’d think differently; too high, too flimsy, and construction so cheap you’d only be able to withstand a few hours of wear. Anything practical is clunky, unattractive, and hard to find.
Even sedentary women step one mile per day on their feet. Can they tolerate that in 3 inch heels? In a sea of terrible design and shameful lack of quality from our best designers, we are wearing garbage and not outraged. I would go so far to say, women are ignoring their suffering and victims of fashion brainwashing. Designers are out of touch and I am out of luck finding decent shoes for the simple matter of walking at least one mile per day.

After shopping at Mayfair Mall and DSW, I was disgusted by my options. DSW had endless rows of ridiculous choices: very high heeled boots, torturous thongs with no arch support, spindly high heels, cheap knit boots that could hardly survive a day in the snow, ballet slippers with life-less soles, uncomfortably hot rubber rain boots, elf shoes curled up at the toes, and sneakers with a tapered toe box. Where are we supposed to put our last two toes? What’s the deal with every sneaker having a nasty cropped toe box? Every single pair of shoes I looked at was unacceptable and problematic.

Women teetering about in ridiculously high heels claiming, “They’re really comfortable!” are in fierce denial. They won’t walk any further than they have to, and by the end of the day they’re whining and rubbing their sore feet. When your feet are jacked up on stilts, it distorts your spine. This is not conjecture ladies, its fact. If your vanity insists you injure yourself because you’re too short, your legs look slimmer, or your man gets turned on, the agony of nerve pain, bunion surgery, and disc herniation are probably the only things that will wake you up. And they will…

We need decent attractive shoes! I want women to realize our shoes are not being made well, and then stop buying the crap. “When I snap my fingers, you will wake up refreshed and aware. Your goal will be to insist shoe designers and manufacturers create shoes WORTHY of your feet. This will happen by only purchasing well made designs, from companies who produce healthy shoes.” The obsession for fashion has made us unconscious sleepwalkers willing to live in discomfort for --- what? Shoes are a necessity for mobility, comfort and preservation of our feet and spines!

Bee Aware! Bee Outraged! Bee Choosier!

“Hey Man, what does your bumper sticker mean, is it like a cult?”

“No. It represents the unity of all people’s cultures, beliefs, and religious backgrounds existing peacefully in the world.”

“Yep. It’s a cult.”

If we studied world religion we’d be less confused, threatened, and perhaps more understanding of other’s beliefs. We are happy to experience foods of different cultures, but their doctrines are indigestible? Do you hate someone because they eat chicken feet?
What does it matter?

Rules and rituals of religions were established for the benefit of social order. Therefore, how can we judge what is not our own? Unless you are bound by familial pressures to conform, or the need to be accepted by your community, you are free to choose what you believe.
And so are others.

Religions actually have a lot in common. The general theme is compassion, forgiveness and love. If your religious beliefs cause you to be judgmental, if you feel it’s your duty to convert others to your thinking, or your beliefs cause you to feel separate from others, then you’ve mistaken spirituality for your ego.

War and separation is not the intended outcome of religion, that’s not what it’s for.
Sadly, if there were no religions, we would still fight over differences; it’s a flaw of our nature because we are not yet perfect. It is fear and the discomfort of the unknown that alienates us from our neighbor.

The work of this life is of an individual nature. When a person raises his/her vibration, it has a positive effect that ripples outward. If you see a kind act, you can’t help but be touched. When you shine, you inspire those who witness the light. If we make it our individual responsibility to become compassionate, forgiving, loving people, surrounding ourselves with those who do the same, then we can peacefully coexist.

CHERRIE PICKED: Zevia Soda!

Since The Killer Bees will soon be including video segments on all of our blogs, I thought it would be fun to turn "CHERRIE PICKED" into a video series! Stay tuned for my recommendations on all of the products I love and want to share...for a healthier you, inside and out! My latest discovery is the awesome tasting Zevia brand sodas, so without further adieu, here's a sneak peek at: "CHERRIE PICKED"!

BEE A READER!

BALANCING HEAVEN AND EARTH
by Robert A. Johnson

I’m adding another four letter word to the list your mother gave you: B-U-S-Y
Why are so many people declaring, insisting, and defending their busy-ness? What are the rewards of being busy? Busy people will defend their lifestyle because they believe they are benefiting from it, but what is the emotional and spiritual cost of this behavior? Does being busy really make you happy?

In the 80’s we watched television shows like “Dallas” which focused on having luxury and leisure time, then in the 90’s the popular series “ER” demonstrated that the characters had to sacrifice their personal lives in order to have successful careers. I think society reflected this change. Suddenly, it was not cool to have time on your hands, it was a race to who could be the busiest - as if busy had become a status symbol. You’re a loser if you are laying around watching clouds and listening to the birds sing.

I was raised by a Father who didn’t mind letting his supper go cold if someone called or stopped by during the dinner hour. He always had time for people, friends or strangers. It was his way, and he was loved by many because he invested in relationships. Yet, he also had a full and very productive life.

Many of my friends preface conversations these days with, “I’ve got 2 minutes…” At times, I’ve wondered if I am too chatty, needy, or worse, that our relationship is merely another obligation, another detail to check of their ever expanding list.

Robert A. Johnson’s book, “Balancing Heaven and Earth” contends because we are both a soul and a physical body we have to do the practical things like clean our house and shop for groceries, however, we must also balance these physical deeds with a spiritual connection to our existence. Its called being. In balancing heaven and earth, we must balance being and doing. Busy people are overly focused on doing.

Being is “attentive solitude with our thought and feelings,” a “meditative time to open up to your inner self.” He says that loneliness comes not from being alone, but from being cut off from your deep inner self, and isolation can actually cure loneliness.

We think, if we keep running, our thoughts will never catch up, yet they will not stop chasing us either. “Soul work, or inner work, takes place when something moves from the unconscious, where it began, into conscious awareness. The path is never straight and neat inside oneself, as if you could go to a library and do all you inner work there. Instead, when something is ready to move from the unconscious to the conscious, it needs a host or intermediary. Generally this intermediary is some person or some thing.”

“Think for a moment of the horizontal beam of a cross as representing doing, or the earthly realm. We have all kinds of daily activities—going to work, raising our family, paying our bills: these are the necessary and proper business of the earthly realm. Often all this doing just fills up our lives. But when we become focused exclusively on doing, our lives start to feel empty and meaningless; we start to wonder why we work so hard. We may secretly ask: Is it worth it? What’s the point? What is the meaning of my life?

This is a sign that we have neglected the opposite of doing, which is being. Now think of a vertical beam of a cross as representing being, or the heavenly realm. We also must have time and place in our lives in which we connect to something that is larger and more enduring. We need at least a taste of the Golden World to make our lives bearable, and this requires time for reflection, for meditation, for inner work and attentive solitude. In short, we need a balance of doing and being.” (excerpts from "Balancing Heaven and Earth" -R.A.Johnson)

My friend and fellow blogger, Michael, recently wrote a piece called, “Have You Never Been Mellow.” He discovered a way to quiet his mind and de-stress his life by being. The title comes from an Olivia Newton-John song:

“Have you never been mellow,
have you never tried,
to find a comfort from inside you?”

I highly recommend reading Robert A. Johnson’s book, “Balancing Heaven and Earth,” and Michael’s thoughtfully written article, “Have you Never Been Mellow.” Be sure to manage equilibrium between being and doing, stop separating yourself from your life and friends with the walls of busy, and do your inner work. It has been said; treat others as you would want to be treated. So to create a happy fulfilling life, begin with the relationship you have with yourself.

Homeopathic Remedies

There is no greater time in history to learn how to use homeopathic remedies. Treatment is easier than you think - it involves driving to your local Outpost, Health Hut, or Whole Foods and picking up the homeopathic that cures what’s ailing you. No waiting to see a doctor, no co-pays, and the best part – NO PRESCRIPTION!

Hippocrates is regarded as the first doctor to treat his patients with homeopathic remedies, circa 460 BC. Therefore, if homeopathy is new to you, be assured these methods have proven themselves effective for many years. Why don’t physicians utilize them now? Perhaps it’s the lack of profit. The homeopathic remedies are inexpensive, have no potential side effects, and patients with acute (rapid onset, short duration) conditions can find their own cure at the local market or drug store. Chronic conditions (long duration, gradual onset) like irritable bowel syndrome, arthritis, depression, or chronic fatigue syndrome, might require some trial and error. To expedite the process when chronic conditions exist, consider the advice of a homeopathic doctor or practioner.

Here’s how homeopathic remedies work:

“Homeopathy uses dilute substances to stimulate the body’s healing power. Its basic principle is treat “like with like.” This involves treating patient’s symptoms with minute amounts of a substance that would cause similar symptoms in a healthy person. This practice contrasts with conventional allopathic medicine, where treating “like with opposite” prevails; that is, a disease is treated with a substance that opposes it.”

“Remedies can be made from many different substances. The most common sources are flower, plants, roots, trees, poisons, minerals, and metals. German doctor Samuel Hahnemann used the smallest possible amount of a substance to trigger a healing effect. This was to minimize side effects. He realized that the more a substance was diluted, the better the result.” –The Guide to Remedies: homeopathy, essential oils, crystals, home remedies (Barnes and Noble Books)

My favorite homeopathic is called Nerve Tonic. It calms the nervous system when upset, nervous, or hyper. Because life can cause stress in many different ways, it’s an excellent tonic to calm you down no matter what comes along. I carry it with me in my purse.

After growing up with cats, and living with Miss Mabel kitty for 12 years, I started having allergies. I sought a homeopathic remedy that contained animal dander and histamine. After 3 doses, I was no longer allergic to my beloved companion. Would you prefer years of shots from an allergist? How about the time and cost of that course of action?
Are you glad you are reading this yet?
Special note: there are homeopathic remedies for pets who suffer from environmental allergies, and nervous conditions too.


When taking a remedy, if you notice no improvement, then you need to try another one, and as soon as the condition improves, stop the course of treatment. There is information to help you choose the right remedy based on your constitution on the label. Some of the constitutional determinants are your physical appearance, mental and emotional aspects, physical weaknesses, and mainly the current ailment. Since I know more about myself than my doctor ever could, I prefer to find my own cure. I like being in tune to my body, having the power to care for it in my head. There is a time and place for allopathic medicine, but running to the doctor for minor issues can be replaced by simple self treating methods. This is why I am such an advocate for educating and empowering yourself about the body you live in, and preventing illness thru the knowledge of homeopathic remedies.

GOD SAVE THE GALLERY

In this waning economy, if your product is not essential, or your business capable, it could be curtains for you. Even before the tide turned last year, I became aware of how ineffective the gallery system was for the artist and consumer. Galleries take 20-60%commission in return for wall space, clientele, and the promise of representation. Historically, these are not high traffic places, except on opening night, so if the gallery is not proactive, the art is not seen or sold. Are most people just apathetic toward art? Are galleries intimidating? Or just uninviting spaces?

One out of seven galleries that featured me, sold a print. I’ve sold over 20 pieces, marketing myself with proof books, business cards, and CD's. At the salon where I work, I traded exposure for decoration services in lieu of commission. I also look for ways to create visibility thru competitions and museums. I’d hoped the galleries would sell my work, but in the end, keeping all the profit helped me reclaim heavy business costs.

Unless you are an artist, you might not be aware of the expense and time that goes into production. A painter needs tubes of color, brushes, easel, and canvas. A photographer requires a camera, lenses, tripod, computer, memory cards or film, software, printer, and marketing materials. The profit must also include an hourly wage to sustain living as a professional artist. It's difficult to balance the costs of creating art, and its return. But, without the product of art, galleries would have nothing to profit from. In order to survive, galleries must market and preserve the professional artist. The standard gallery business model of “being chosen”, held hostage by exclusivity, and gouged by commissions, is a problematic plan for the business of selling and producing art.

Are galleries an institution worth saving? Can they survive extinction by reinventing themselves? Will artists choose only the galleries with astute marketing skills to represent them? If gallerists approached the business as an equal partnership (rather than entry into an exclusive club) and marketed the product effectively, or created an enticing shopping experience that was intellectually accessible to everyone, I think the system could survive. As it exists, neither party benefits and the future looks grim.

Artists will not stop producing and distributing art, rather, they will find a way to eliminate the ineffective middle man, and share their gifts with the world in a more attainable way.

God saves those who save themselves.

The Killer Bees joined forces with neighbors and friends to celebrate the 4th of July and my birthday.
A backyard cookout - now that's summer!! bubblesink.blogspot.com

STINKY BUSINESS

Most home products and toiletries are scented. Consider how many of those you come in contact with daily: Hand soap, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, gels, sprays, makeup, body lotion, deodorant, laundry detergent, dryer sheets, dish soap, air freshener, candles, carpet cleaner, etc. Since these products are scented with synthetic fragrance, the daily dose of chemicals bombarding your system could be unhealthy. Why not replace some of these products with a scent that is kinder to your system, more appealing to your nose, and easy to create? (Remember my mantra: invest in your health, because it is priceless.)

Synthetic fragrance can be an irritant and doesn’t hold up well on skin. Most perfumes and colognes on the market are now made with synthetic fragrance, not essential oils. Essential oils are extracted from plants and flowers. They are concentrated and contain nothing but the derived oil or essence. Fragrance oils are synthetically created chemicals blended with an inexpensive carrier oil. After a few hours on the skin, the odor falls apart and doesn’t marry with your natural chemistry like essential oil based perfumes.
Why pay for a fake? That’s STINKY BUSINESS.

There are many websites for making your own perfumes, with recipes and combinations to get you started. I open several bottles of essential oils and smell them next to each other to find my special blends. Try a one note fragrance with an essential oil that can stand on its own, like lavender. Or find out what that pricey bottle of perfume claims to be made from, and create a mix from a real source.

To begin, you need a 4-6oz glass container with a spritzer top, or an old perfume bottle. Tinted glass is recommended because sunlight can affect the natural ingredients. The universal combination for perfume is always essential oil, 100-195 proof vodka, and distilled water. The ratio depends on whether you are making a perfume, cologne, or body spritz .

My favorite body spritz and home spray is:
-4oz. bottle
-20-50 drops of essential oil
-2 tsps vodka
-Distilled water to fill

The ratio for perfume:
-2 1/2oz vodka
-2 TB distilled water
-15 to 30% essential oils

You can add a few drops of liquid glycerin or jojoba oil to enhance the fragrance.

I recommend mixing the vodka with the essential oils, then wait at least 48 hours before adding the distilled water.

Always shake before using and keep away from eyes. Not all essential oils can be sprayed on the face.

I design individualized scents for my friends and family, translating personalities into fragrance.
I keep a log of recipes for happy refills. Each time you make these wonderful gifts for yourself and others, you’ll get familiar with the compatibilities of essential oils, like a bartender stirring up winning concoctions.

Also add a few drops of essential oils to your laundry washing. They have medicinal, anti- bacterial qualities, especially eucalyptus. Alan Hayes is my favorite aroma-phile, he gives great tips for practical easy home remedies. You’ll never buy febreeze again!
Check out the “archives” section of his website: itssonatural.com
If you want more information about natural perfumes check out: http://www.yehcenter.com/

Pay attention to what you smell everyday. Try mixing your own scents, it’s a creative party for your nose and brain. And when someone stops you to ask, “What are you wearing?” Won’t it be fun to say, "A signature scent I designed for myself".
Yummy.

BUBBLES, INK: My Photo Gallery Blog

Bubbles, Ink. is the new blog space I've created to showcase my photography. The premier collection is a photo essay of 2009 Pride Parade. I was also a participant this year, introducing the THE KILLER BEES to Milwaukee. I enjoyed meeting everyone who came to frolic. To view my images, click on the link below:
www.bubblesink.blogspot.com

I LOVE A PARADE

I love a parade, especially if I am doing the parading. Watching from the sidelines is fine for some, but entertaining, and standing up for something I’m proud of, is thrilling. I’ve marched in the 4th of July parade several times, proud to be a free American. This year I am joining Milwaukee’s Gay Pride Parade, proud to celebrate the diversity of the human race.

Beauty College was my first opportunity to know gay men. What hooked me was the ease of communication. Gay men were not afraid or intimidated by me, and delivered their opinions and feelings without hesitation. When doors are wide open, more comes in. Being reserved has its place, but the autistic, “lamp-shady” nature of some straight men can be downright dull. Depth in relationships starts with sharing, not withholding.

My fellow Bees, Michael and Stacey, showed up at a time when I was creatively dormant. They picked me up, dusted me off, and taught me more than anyone. I learned about the process in living. Reaching the goal, and taking pleasure in getting there. I learned about friendships and community, building a family where there was none.
And, I learned that life……..is only as yummy as you make it.

On this parade of friendship and love, I will be promoting diversity and affinity.

The Family Bee Photo Album

BEES IN FLIGHT Go to ourkillerphotos.blogspot.com to view album! photo by Doug Krimmer

"UM, LIKE, YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?"

When I signed up for a degree in Cosmetology, the curriculum did not include conflict resolution or psychotherapy. I had no idea that personality management would play a major role in my career. My professional goals were; use god-given talents, create and enhance beauty, and support thyself financially. According to Beauty School statistics, two percent of the students who complete a degree in Cosmetology actually go on to work in the industry. The profession is more complicated and difficult than people realize, and the old adage, “she wasn’t very bright, so we sent her to beauty school” should be put to rest because it’s a uniformed cliché. The following experience made me question whether or not I would make it in the beauty business...

I can’t remember her name, but she was a retired Grade School teacher, nagging control freak, and world-class sour puss. She received fifty-nine of the sixty manicures required to complete my Beauty School Program. Her nasty trick was smug silence, leaving me the responsibility to initiate and maintain all conversation. Only when I tossed the ball, would she whack it across the net. Strategy and defense were not even in my tool kit yet, I was a socially inept teenager and her intimidating manner made me very nervous. Old what’s-her-name had an hour and a half to fire at my flawed vocabulary, and repeatedly pummel my poor word choices. Unfortunately, I couldn’t pull off a twenty minute manicure, and rushing could have set me up for a do-over. Sometimes you must stand up for yourself, but this bully knew I was trapped, not working for money, as I would in the future, but for a passing grade. My simple plan was to be kind and considerate, cheer her up, make her laugh, and pray for a break.

Grammar was the main source of her irritation. If my sentence ended with, “ya know what I mean?” she would say “NO, I don’t know what you mean!” If I mumbled, she would pretend not to hear me, and scream, “WHAT?! WHAT?!!” Every time I slipped on a “like” or an “um” she exploded. She sifted through my words like a heat seeking missile, attentive for errors, or incorrect usage of a verb, relishing every mistake. Meanwhile, I chirped along, searching for anecdotes to lighten her mood, hiding my anguish. You‘ve got to know what you can control, and unfortunately it’s only ever yourself.

Had I been a strategist, I might have taken note that, despite the weekly manicures and blow dry styles, she was hopelessly unattractive. Like a bow on a turd, it was useless. She knew nothing about hairstyles or fashion. But I did. I was raised on it. My Mother was a fashion model turned Mary Kay consultant nicknamed, “Eyeshadow.” She emphasized poise and style to her daughter, there was no other way to be. I was wearing makeup by the sixth grade, cutting and coloring my own hair long before entering beauty school. We were a fashion forward family. I could have jabbed at this woman’s soft spot and brought her down to size. But I never did.

At her final appointment, I announced with glee this was to be my last required manicure. I told stories and shared current events as always, but now I knew my every flaw, and there were no more grammatical errors. Carefully choosing my words, there was nothing to feast on. She scattered to find a new approach, threatening to request me again because she liked the way I did her nails, and the school would have to comply with the wishes of a client. But my lessons were over, and she was finished.

I sprayed her nails with the quick dry and pulled the table away. While cleaning my manicure table and implements, she stormed to the front desk to secure another dim student who needed grammatical training. One of the student receptionists, learning to make announcements over the PA, failed to turn the system off before what’s-her name stepped up. With nails beautifully polished, hair perfectly styled, and displeasure strewn across her face, she clearly broadcasted, "Put me down next week, same time,
I want a manicure and a blow job.”

Students and staff froze in shock. Jaws dropped and eyes popped open. Seconds of silence passed before everyone realized, a daft old lady just made a silly mistake, and then the howls of laughter ensued.

She never returned to the Beauty School for service.

And counted among that two percent who survive and thrive in the beauty industry,
I continue to use my god-given talents to create and enhance beauty.

A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM THE KILLER BEES

CONSCIOUS PERFECTION

Barbie is celebrating her 50th birthday, and consciously or unconsciously, women still consider her “charms” a standard. Long blonde hair, skinny body, perky globes, etc.
Although imitation is a never-ending stimulus package for the economy of "beautification" services, what are the rewards of this billion dollar investment?

Sadly, the physical ideals of sexual attractiveness; the formula for “optimal luring capacity” has not been abandoned despite lack of attainability, objectification, or proof of a better life.

In exchange for being noticed, and the expected reward of endless enduring love, women withstand starvation, Spankx, plastic surgery, Botox, breast enhancement, and hours of spinal contortion from high heels. If these tactics guaranteed unconditional love, I might be interested, but I am a pragmatic girl, and would not jeopardize my health or comfort for mere attention. However, it is a well known fact that you can attract more bees with honey - the sweet nectar of contentment – because discontent is not attractive, inviting or beautiful.

Consider the great beauties of the world: Elizabeth Taylor, Tina Turner, Marilyn Monroe, Halle Berry. Then ponder all the stars that have turned themselves in to puff-lipped alien lizards, attempting to preserve the beauty of youth: Priscilla Presley, Dolly Parton, Cher.
They all may have fame and fortune, but what about their personal lives? Is finding true love any easier for them? Does god-given beauty or surgically-preserved youth really deliver?

How would your life change if you had the body you wanted, would physical perfection secure happiness? What actually stands in the way of a satisfying life? I always tell nervous brides, “yes, everyone will be looking at you…
for a second…but they will quickly return to themselves and their own appearance. Trust me; paparazzi are not lurking outside your house. Whether or not you can pull off a bikini or a sleeveless shirt is irrelevant in the real world. (Hollywood is a different story – not yours!) A few varicose veins should not keep you from wearing a skirt, because no one will probably even notice or care. Losing five, ten, or twenty pounds before a class reunion may give you confidence, but a warm smile and open heart is what people will remember. In the throes of great sex are you really thinking about your abs? And, after the initial shock of your cellulite on the beach, will anyone think less of you; after all, it’s not a felony, is it? Instead of judging yourself and competing with others, try looking people directly in the eye; show them you are present and available. It’s intoxicating to be seen and heard …

A health insurance chart would label me overweight. I’ve been pleasantly plump my whole life, but I have never, and would never, have a relationship with a man who criticized my figure. Actually, the men I attract are quite enthusiastic about my zaftig charms. I dated a body builder several years ago, who was 14 years younger than me. He told me he respected women who pumped iron at the gym, but he preferred women with soft curves and thick legs, and the emotional stability of older women. Trust me; men are turned on by women who like themselves. A guest on Oprah claimed that you should be able to stand in front of a mirror naked, and be turned on by yourself. I fervently agree.

Furthermore, consider the practicality of aging. When we are at our most fertile, we are most appealing to the opposite sex. This is the biological path we take. We grow older and things change for a reason. We are not designed to chase boys and make babies in our later years. It’s a gift to push us into thinking about other things, like, why we’re here, what we’ve learned, and how we’re going to serve the world, insuring our lives were meaningful.

“In life our task is to go from unconscious perfection to conscious imperfection and then to conscious perfection” -unknown proverb

Please bask in your own individual beauty. Be aware of sleepwalking, unconsciously playing the same destructive tapes over and over. Seek new thoughts about yourself. Wake up and experience your fingers and toes and everything in between. Embrace the conscious truth, and love who you are.